Instructions
to remember a dream:
leave the kitchen sink at home
point and click
feel the sensation
connect the dots
and for fuck's sake remember
where you came from
declarations
screaming from the sidewalk:
i love you all with MOUTH!
(whore)
in return she's incredible and
slightly edible
love is love says the chalk words at her toes
(is love is love is
love)
the liberal anti-anti black and
blue for green
pressing her nose to the back of her hand
sucking her lip
collapsing her at the waist
(his arms)
this time she gives in
heavy
belly like
a minivan to market
breakdowns
there was a devil in the socket that
sprayed the baby
you always got the sporadic one we shared details
and a game of reaux-sham-beaux
these are the worst parts the left turn on red parts
you're the best she said trailing her fingers from
your chest to your waist
the blood in her eyes was ketchup on
lights
there were rapid hand movements nothing
was added but motion
encounters
early:
he comes at 3 am
i wake
my right breast heavy
i cradle i cradle
oh
he's so excited about you.
he thinks
you're so
exciting
if i rest it on something
it stops aching
co-dependence
the house is gentle and warm
i sleep in a fort with a stuffed moose
in the night we are free
i make escapes i eat my carrots
later:
he comes to tell me about love
about new york in the night
about rum in his belly
i tell him i think about cancer
i think about decay
he rests his heart on me
and i fall against his tongue
his love on my lust
jam and bread
i am hungry he fetches
imagine a wagging tail
imagine drool and squats in the yard
confessions
i'm the only one in the joint who knows
i'm only responsible for crimes committed
between 1 & 3 am
i've been growing my hair to hide my skin.
between noon & 3 if the sky agrees
i might bare myself to sunburn
in giving up religion as slavery i broke away
from waking each morning groggy
and guilty as a christian
advances
my thought process
how to ash a cigarette
how to take off my bra
when to cross the street
how to cash my paycheck
the popularity of my in-box
how many galaxies per person
the variety of guns used in wwii
the effects of weed in bunny rabbits
the nicotine content of philippino tobacco
the chemical reactions in a hydrogen fuel
cell
the relationship between technology and
nature
the psychological insights of women in the
1800s
how to get him in me
mistakes
her legs open
biting down on her best intentions she dials
says:
baby
what are you doing
fidgets
a wince
fingers reach her cheek as the blood
fights partitions
gasps:
playing i wanted to hear you
ok
that's ok
sorry
ok
silence hits her first in the chest then
slides down
and settles trembles
there is a familiar ache
i told you not to call me here
softly exits her lips in his tone
i'll teach you not to do it again
exposures
it's not that he doesn't
want any more friends
the flow is constant and nicotine free
i just look so nice there alone
we discussed it sort
of between scenes
and the doors smashed in with a whoooo do you loooove?
and my head cocked like a puppy’s
(as if i'm ever in control) no
a
god stepped up mistaking me for a gun
but i don't goddamn know, jim
the words blending my brain
vodka and rice and guts
all is well
except the cancer
but it isn't my cancer like he isn't my husband
what did i do?
i lept up and hauled out
springing from chest to chest
dipping my fingers between ribs
rubbing the blood on my lips pursing
them
clowns! beauty
queens! marilyn monroe!
when have i ever been so cute?
pressing my tits to labels
simple and timed
seconds before i crashed
gasping
now would not [sic]
be a good time to leave your wife
reactions
could you possibly? i
asked
this is all he said wisely
the sun murdered the clouds at 4 i woke
my eyes
ancient and suggestively high i began climbing
up and down the telephone poles scraping my wrists
on purpose he came along asking for change i asked him
for change for change he agreed and we shared a sandwich
downtown the next day i tripped up and got my skirt caught
on some branches i let him look turning my face to meet
the nearest refracted light he found it easier with my knees
to the ground my nose against the pavement he was the 4th
one this year as i clambered onto a train to see him
again i became
distracted by an act of graffiti and fell
off track the longest route to any given point is
the one
where interest is foiled by instability of
landscape
i wasn't in the mood for talking
addendums
mess:
the word of the hour
in a minute I’m so hungry
for cock words leave
my tongue to make room
yes i find you alarming
i found you at all
wind sweeps through
ruining my hair
rest:
void of oh-shit-it’s-gone
wrong the parallels of right
are knocking down powers
a mathematician a drunk
rest to escape addiction yes
to hide the sex yours and mine
and the moon screwing tide
wake:
the fuck up and clean it.
arrangements
and we're going to lay their skylines up
in chicago
between hard and dark things
that's why we've got bright lights
words are not dresses and playful hats
that make you look shakespearean
like a drug addict a giant
maybe we should become part of the story:
i lifted my head and he was so very pretty
we were all steeped in blues he said
music makes a mouthful possible!
sharing cookies before bed
morning brought food—
a bunch of drunk people keeled over
in soup bowls and so on
and i was like MAN!
where is your FACE!?
voice trilling the precarious heights
of billboards and trees
JESUS
i think this guy's gone mad
from feverish dreams of anti-war riots
and carbon monoxide
your
f a c e
keep my face you
fuckers! i'm here to make this sorry
place
a stadium full of maggots! give
me something to die for !
we later learn that he goes to rio
where he has the most dandy little piece
of smoked pork
with marinated cabbage and walks away
exchanges
we are holding
our faces to our bones
as our every possession
we are not calling you down
with mildew breath
and long glances up
we will be las vegas
we will be new york
the station is loaded
with backpacks and stars
you can hear our demons
you can do a body good
mothers with crosses
we sing songs of you
into cramp-legged buildings
lava lamps boxes
magazines emporniums
we need signs
to communicate
we are language
until we speak
but oh
you love
to hear it
houses for bees
we buzz
in making the thing
we are end free
remaining
senses
grey
rushing
into cobalt
the smell is
decay
without fear
lit up
sticks in a bundle
left a mark
a bend in the air
moves the wind
from you
i could still fall
leaves do
mouthless
you wouldn't mind
my lips
your heart
through your thighs
the way
you hum along
monotreme
songs
the sense of all for nothing
the way
we motion
for goodbyes
scatter this
in the moonlight
by the construction
the loss in
big
red
warnings
days we spent
in wars
in bed
you are tender
and ten times different
this time
hold my wrists
hold them
press down.
~from Mess © 2006 mysi ann wiu escapement press motherfuckers.
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